With the Georgia
Legislature set to resume meeting just around the corner,
Impeached takes an early look at who's who among the old
white guys with political power.
1. Mussels in the Chattahoochee
River (NR): These things just can't be
stopped. The entire state could be dying of
dehydration and these little things would still have
to get their cut of the water first!
2. Sonny Perdue (-1):
When a man can veto the state budget to include a bass
fishing tournament, he has some power. This former
University of Georgia football player is still the
cream of the crop for the upcoming session. Want to
challenge him? Go for it, he will crush you just like
he did Mark Taylor in the last election. If he has a
weakness right now it is that he may be resting on his
laurels. While he has been fishing, others have been
doing things like trying to save Grady Hospital and
even introduce new tax plans.
Despite that, he is still the perennial power house and
should have a good showing.
3. Casey Cagle (NR)-
The Lt. Governor is no stranger to a microphone.
Whether he is bashing the plan to eliminate property
taxes or taking a strong hold of the Tour de Georgia,
Cagle is accessible if nothing else. Well, there is
one more thing- sources say he is named after TMNT
character Casey Jones
4. Shirley Franklin
(NR)- The first black woman to be mayor of
Atlanta has to be doing something right. Well, besides
not killing 92-year-old grandmothers and not being
able to control water usage, she has everything under
control.
5. Jeff Foxworthy
(NR)- His show "Are you smarter than a
fifth-grader" is beamed into millions of houses every
week. Foxworthy hasn't gotten all political like
Charles Barkley, but if he chooses he may just take
his redneck routine to the governor's mansion
6. Vernon Jones (E)- He recently began an
interview with Neal Boortz in laughter. When Boortz asked
what was so funny, Jones just said he was keeping his pants
up. Well, pants up or down, he is a political force. He is
in the middle of a Senate campaign, which means he will
have to find some fans outside of DeKalb. As long as
Cynthia McKinney decides to run for office (any office) he
should be able to stay under the radar as the 'other' black
candidate.
7. Cynthia McKinney (E)- She slipped down
the rankings only because she is flirting with the Green
Party. She is still the state's favorite female
congresswoman to hate, but since there have been very few
police officer beatings in D.C. she has been out of the
public eye. Once she makes it official that she is running
for office, she will have an immediate impact on the
political paradigm in Georgia. It will go from stable, calm
and reserved to "Oh my God!"
8. Knowshon Moreno (NR)- He is only a
freshman and already has the Dawgs in the Sugarbowl. The
comparisons are already happening and he may get the
highest Georgia ranking ever, simply known as 'Hershel.'
9. Chris Krok (-1)- Where else would to go
to hear your hate-filled anti-Mike Vick talk? Krok's verbal
lashing, personal attacks and ability to judge have made
him a fixture at the coveted 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. time slot.
We admit he might be overrated on this list, but than
again, so is his radio show.
10. Area Malls- Easily the most magnetic
buildings in the state. The only thing that could scare
people away from malls is the occasional shooter, but it's
doubtful. We need presents!
Losing ground
1. Voters- Surprisingly, very few voters
turned out to vote last month. While it was one of the
lowest voter turnouts in some time, this month's runoff
elections look to be even lower. If it weren't for next
year's presidential election, voters would have virtually
no power at all.
2. Debbie Gibson- DUI
Debbie.com destroyed the former Alpharetta council
woman. She was fighting DUI charges and recently
attempted suicide. DUI Debbie.com showed how she was
not mentally able to lead a city and now she is
completely out of the political eye.
3. Newt Gingrich- He
teased us all with a possible presidential campaign,
but in the end he left us high and dry. Now that he
officially ended that nonsense, everyone has gone back
to not caring about him!
Up and coming
1. Tom
Glavine- He's back! Sure he left Atlanta for more
money, but he came back. Glavine brought Atlanta it's only
championship. Ever since he was the rep for the player's
union, Glavine has shown he has what it takes to make it in
politics. Of course, we support John Smoltz for
governor, but Glavine is a solid player right now.
2. Victor Hill- He is short. He is
arrogant. He fights with other Clayton County leaders. But
somehow, despite constantly suspending the AJC and other
papers, he gets in name in the media. He has already
started a heavy campaign to keep his seat as sheriff and we
expect to see his face every where come this time next
year.
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