With Newt out,
Republicans turn to last resort
This man wants to be
president!
With the startling news that Newt
Gingrich will not run for president, the Republican
party has turned its eyes to Michael Arterburn, a new
candidate that lives in Peachtree City, Ga. And while
many political analysts say he has virtually no shot at
winning, partly because he is not a household name and
partly because President George W. Bush has totally
screwed the party, others are anointing him as a savior.
" He has the chance to be the next Lincoln or even Reagan,"
said George Drello, a 30-year political analyst. "If he can
get his message out there, this could be amazing."
Indeed Arterburn is having trouble getting his platform and
his name out there. Currently his name will only appear on
the Georgia ballot. With 49 other states also voting, that
could prove to be a major set back.
Arterburn was not available for comment, but statements on
his official website, a MySpace profile, seem to show
that he is pressing on. He also addresses some serious
questions about his candidacy on the site. We have
listed a few of them below and his stance.
What about
Arterburn's lack of political experience?
"I have no
political experience, but have gained some valuable
experience running for mayor of Peachtree City."--
Arterburn
Drello's analysis: "Peachtree City and America are very
similar. In fact it may be harder to campaign in Peachtree
City because they drive golf carts everywhere. Have you
ever tried taking a golf cart cross-country?"
What
is his platform?
"My biggest issues for my campaign are education and health
care. Education is important because the children that are
in school now are going to be the people who take care of
and run this country in the near future. Health care is
important because there are so many people without it,
especially children and the elderly."-- Arterburn
Drello's
analysis: "Bravo! Who doesn't like education and child
care? I don't know how he will provide this, but I am sure
there is a sensible plan that will please everyone."
What
about abortion?
"Abortion is a
high priority for women because it is telling them they can
or cannot do something to their own body. I do not believe
in abortion, but if a woman wants to give a baby up for
adoption that is fine. It is my stand that life is
important and it should remain that way."-- Arterburn
Drello's analysis: "This is a refreshing change from the
typical hard-line GOP approach that all abortion is wrong.
It should win him several votes too!"