Hello my faithful followers in Georgia,
it truly is an honor for you to see me here. I don't
usually do this sort of thing, but Impeached Magazine
begged and groveled that I make an appearance. Finally
after they paid me an enormous sum of money, I
realized that it would be a disservice to you fine
people if you didn't hear directly from me.
My underlings tell me that Georgia is an extremely difficult place to live. I have never been there myself, so I could care less. Well, I went there once, but just to meet someone in the men's room of the airport. Ahh, what a great day that was! Oh I know what your thinking and there was no funny business, I am all man. In fact, I once killed a guy for winking at me! That 4-year-old had nothing to wink at when I was done with him.
But enough about that, it's time for the Georgia edition of the Threat Down!
OK, number 5 on the Threat Down list is . . .
The former black female congresswoman leads off our list. Cynthia McKinney is hinting that she might run for office again. What the hell is she thinking? She followed that fiasco where she got beat up by a cop by getting her ass kicked in the primaries. This She-ra has another thing coming to her if she runs again.
But, I for one say bring it on Cyn McKin. I need another whipping girl.
Number 4-- Birds on the lam!
A hawk recently escaped from Zoo Atlanta and has been spotted around the city. Now, zoo officials are saying the bird is harmless, but we all know better. This bird is out on a kamikaze mission given to him directly from Osama Bin Laden. We don't know exactly when or where the bird will strike, but we know he will strike.
Now if you must go outside, carry a torch. Otherwise you need to stay indoors at all times and try to lure the bird into your glass window pane. America thanks you.
On to number 3 . . .
Beware faithful viewers, there is an armless man going around killing people-- that must be one hell of round house kick! How this guy killed another man is beyond me. I mean I once drank a man to death and even destroyed some one with my enormous brain, but with no arms? This man is amazing. Someone sign this beast up for ultimate fighting.
Number 2--Pocket Knives
Kudos to Cobb County Public Schools. There officers have been searching student's glove departments for pocket knives and putting students in jail.
Sure a pocket knife doesn't seem too dangerous, until you put it in the hands of the next MacGuiver! Before you know it the entire school is tied up by rulers, the school books have turned into a small explosive and little Johnny is using his pocket knife to hold the principal hostage!
We must keep these mass killing machines out of our schools!
And the number one threat in Georgia is . . .
Bears! They are everywhere! They are our number one threat to America! What ever you do, don't go down to Centennial Park with a pic-inic basket!
There is your Threat Down, you're welcome.
