Bobby
Brown for president!
Why the
Atlanta icon must run
By Tac O'Hara
http://theanticritic.com
Just when you were sick of hearing how Obama is not black
enough, here is a presidential candidate with some soul!
Bobby Brown has never been short on confidence and never
short on making politician-style hyperbole.
Brown’s career is pretty much on line with what it takes to
be a politician. Forget Bush’s drinking problems, Brown has
been in the slammer for drunk driving. Talk about your
comeback stories. You think Clinton was a bit lewd and
lascivious? Brown was actually voted out of his first band,
New Edition, because of his vulgar onstage antics. While
most politicians were punching their tickets, Bobby was
punching former wife, Whitney Houston.
One claim Brown makes, that most people look for in a
president is, he is a “great father figure.” He stands by
this rep even though he lost custody of his teenage
daughter to her mother, Whitney Houston. This must have
been a “lesser of two evils” kind of decision for the
judge.
Taking all this into account, Bobby needs to run. His
smooth talk and slick charm will make Rudy Giuliani lust
with envy. John McCain might hold his tongue on the prison
stories, knowing Brown can probably one-up him every time.
And forget about complaining when he wavers on promises he
made on the campaign trail: He will (obviously) always
argue, “It’s My Prerogative.”
If Brown was president, we could quit being embarrassed on
the world stage regarding our past and present leaders. We
could slap some leather on him and say to the world, “Beat
That.” And when push comes to shove we could pull our trump
card and say, “Hey, this is the man who wrote the theme to
Ghostbusters II.”
Even though it might be too late to get
Oprah to endorse him as a candidate, I am sure that
Jerry Springer would be right there ready, willing and
able. Brown would crush Hillary Clinton when it came
to the young black women’s vote. Heck, any women’s
vote!!
Brown is media ready and any number of campaign slogans
could work in his favor. Here are a few:
I love America . . . one woman at a time
No more lame-ass white dudes
The krunk stops here
Read my hips
I put the con in conservative
Go now and vote for the man, dammit!!
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