By Greg
Stephens
The NFL divisional games have come and gone,
setting the stage for the AFC and NFC Conference title
games next week. In the AFC, the New England Patriots will
face the Indianapolis Colts … Ok, you caught me. I began
this article before the Chargers defeated the Colts to go
to the championship game.
One can hardly blame me. The Chargers hadn’t won a playoff
game since little Noah built his first model ark in his
bathtub as a kid. I figured they won one last week, what
were the odds they’d beat the Colts for their second
post-season victory this decade?
Don’t get me wrong. I like the Chargers. I like LaDanian
Tomlinson, Antonio Gates and the defense. However, their
quarterback, Philip Rivers, is my fourth favorite
quarterback on the team. Given they only carry three at any
given time, that is quite a feat. He’s Rex Grossman without
the personality. He’s Ryan Leaf without the arm. He’s…not
going to beat the Patriots; that much we can bank on.
The Chargers’ defense is tough and played very well twice
against a strong Colts’ offense. They did something teams
don’t do…they made Peyton Manning make mistakes. Count
this, though. The Patriots are far superior to even the
Colts on the offensive side of the ball. Tom Brady played a
not-too-shabby Jaguars defense and completed 26 of 28
passes. Don’t bother double-checking that last statement.
It’s not a typo, and I’m not drunk. It happened. They
scored on the Jaguars much like I would score on Madden
Football against my seven year old son. Next week won’t be
any different.
Also going against the Bolts is the current uncertain
status of stud back LaDanian Tomlinson and Philip ‘I know
he sucks but he’s the best they got’ Rivers. Both suffered
knee injuries in the victory against Indianapolis.
Tomlinson’s didn’t sound too bad—he was announced as having
a bruised knee. That should be healed to the point of
allowing him to play next week.
Rivers, on the other hand, did a funky little ballet twist
on a screen pass and landed wrong on his knee. He
eventually came back from the locker room, but never
reentered the game. Let me help you out. For a starting
quarterback to leave a playoff game against the Colts in a
game this close, in favor of Billy Volek, no less, means
Rivers was hurt more than the Chargers will tell you this
coming week. He truly may not be able to play.
I know we have to have the formality of the game, but we
all know who’s going to win the AFC title. If it helps you
figure it out, let’s just say Commissioner Roger Goodell
had the Lombardi Trophy etched for the Patriots after Week
Six of the season. The Patriots got good air-fare rates to
Arizona for February 3 because they purchased them seven
weeks ago! Don’t even be tempted to drop a hundred dollars
on a Chargers’ upset because it could pay out ten grand. It
won’t happen.
Oh yeah, one more thing. I’ll make mention of something
else, primarily because my editor said I have to. This
coming weekend is also the NFC Championship game. At this
point in history, being the NFC Champion is like winning
the Grey Cup in the Canadian Football League or the World
Bowl in the now-defunct NFL Europe: there may be some
bragging rights, but ultimately—no one is impressed.
The NFC hasn’t won a Super Bowl since 2003 and lost eight
of the last ten. For you fans in New York and Green Bay,
since you guys are the only ones that will care about that
match-up, Green Bay is going to win by about fifteen
points, only to get blown out by the Patriots in the Super
Bowl, 56-3.
Related articles:
How Roger Goodell led the Pats to a
perfect season
Genarlow
Wilson gives prison tips to Mike Vick
Interview with (virtual) Mike
Vick
Interview with
(virtual) Genarlow Wilson