How he helped the New England Patriots have a perfect season
by Greg Stephens
Dear Commissioner Goodell,
The New England Patriots have just won the showdown with the New York Giants, 38-35, capping the first-ever 16-0 perfect season in the history of the NFL. We, the undersigned, felt the need to write to express our concerns.
Many were dubious when the New England Patriots spent the off-season acquiring every wide receiver on the free agency block. Everyone knows Randy Moss is a few bricks short of a full load. Donte Stallworth was always a second-rate prima donna. No one ever heard of Wes Welker. Regardless, you, as the commissioner and lord-high protector of football’s precious parity, should have put a stop to this.
Thanks to you, the 2007 football season
was over by week four. We all conceded the Lombardi
Trophy after week seven. Now, we fear the television
revenues for the playoffs and Super Bowl will take a
hit for the first year ever because, like a bad movie,
everyone knows how it ends. How are we expected to
blackmail our respective cities out of new stadiums
with the threat of moving our ultra-profitable teams
when our bottom lines are shrinking?
Please don’t misunderstand. We appreciate the historical significance of the Patriots’ accomplishment. The 1927 Yankees didn’t win every game of their regular season, nor did the Big Red Machine, Michael Jordan’s Bulls, or Kareem Abdul-Jabar’s Lakers. The Patriots have no flaws. Tom Brady makes Peyton Manning look like Eli. Randy Moss and Wes Welker make Lynn Swann and John Stallworth look like Jerry Porter and, well, Randy Moss from 2006.
This cannot continue. You have to note the impact major league baseball has suffered because of the competitive monopoly of the Yankees and Red Sox. That is what will happen to the NFL. Whereas the Titans or the Seahawks, in any given year, has a chance to win the Super Bowl, that will no longer be the case. Teams will see attendance drop. Luxury box seat sales will dry up. Every Monday Night Football game will feature the Patriots. We’ll all become the Royals and the Pirates of football.
We urge you, Mr. Commissioner, to use your powers to break up this monopoly on our fair sport. We need a return to the days where a 9-7, mediocre wild card team has a chance to play in, and win, the big game. If this doesn’t happen, all of us, and the league as a whole will suffer.
Thank you for your time.
The owners of the other thirty-one NFL teams.